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 brady bunch has nothing on us
Delilah Winters
 Posted: Dec 1 2016, 03:57 AM
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Owner of the Orchid Lounge & Mom
Northbrook, IL
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26
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"Yeah, because keeping things from each other has worked out for us oh so well in the past," Delilah spat, feeling annoyed he had even thought it was alright to even say that to her. She got what he meant, she did. Still didn't mean it didn't annoy the hell out of her.

"You must be joking, Avery! I'm supposed to be here to support you. What's the point of us if we can't be there for each other during the harder times?" she said.

"You know how hard it was not having you there when I miscarried? I know it's not the same, but still. I can't let you go through any of this by yourself."

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Avery Summers
 Posted: Dec 1 2016, 04:43 AM
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meth cook
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"This is nothing like that," Avery snapped back. He could feel his heart throbbing in his throat. His entire body felt numb. Not in the same way that had been happening with his hands, not medically, but a psychic numbness that layered thick on his skin. He knew it was a defense mechanism. He'd felt it for a long time, day in day out, until he'd met Delilah. She had managed to pierce through it with a look and a miniskirt, but now there was more at stake than ever.

"You have no idea what you're talking about, okay? You don't know what this involves. I won't even--" He stopped himself suddenly, shutting his mouth tight. The muscles in his jaw flexed, his eyes smoldering. He could count on one hand the number of times they had talked about Arienne, and probably the number of sentences he'd spoken about her as well. There were years of unprocessed emotions bubbling up, raw and roiling, but he refused to let them go any further.

"I'm done talking about this," he said finally. His voice had an eery calm quality that seemed the complete antithesis of how he usually sounded.
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Delilah Winters
 Posted: Dec 1 2016, 04:53 AM
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Owner of the Orchid Lounge & Mom
Northbrook, IL
she/her/her
26
years old
Female
Pansexual
Panromantic
monoamorous
Kimmy
24
Central
language
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violence

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"Then tell me what it does involve!" She spat. "Stop keeping me in the dark about this, for fuck's sake."

She went silent after he told her he was done talking about this. She wasn't used to hearing that sort of tone from him and it both shocked her and scared her. Of course in usual Delilah fashion she felt more tears welling up in her eyes, but she was trying, actually this time, to not let any fall.

"You've put me through hell and back, Avery," she began after what seemed like a few minutes of tense silence. "I've forgiven you for shit I don't think I ever should have. And I know it's fucked up for me to be even bringing any of this up, but I don't think it's fucking fair you're keeping me out of the loop on something so important and I think I deserve to be apart of this no matter how hard it is."

She shifted, turning her attention to Storm who was shifting in her arms, "If you're going to go back to not talking to me about things then maybe you should go because I don't want to go through all of that again,"

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Avery Summers
 Posted: Dec 1 2016, 05:09 AM
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meth cook
butler, ga
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"It's not up to you to decide what I have to tell you about what happened with my mom, okay?" The only thing that had happened less times than Avery calling Arienne "mom" was him being actually genuinely upset with Delilah about something. "You can't just bring it up after we've been together two years because all of a sudden it's relevant. I'm the only person that gets any say on what I talk about."

He wanted to bring up that she hadn't been perfect, either. That both of them had their issues, and while they both needed to take responsibility for the things they'd done they had reasons, too. Neither of them had been quite right in the head. Both had been through stuff, and as far as Avery was concerned he'd put forth his fair share of apologies and concessions.

The last part was what really struck a nerve in him, though.

"Is that really what you want?" he asked, his voice maintaining that uncomfortable calmness from before. "You want me to either talk about it or we're through?"
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Delilah Winters
 Posted: Dec 1 2016, 05:23 AM
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Owner of the Orchid Lounge & Mom
Northbrook, IL
she/her/her
26
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Panromantic
monoamorous
Kimmy
24
Central
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"I have always wanted to know about your mom. Especially after we went to Georgia. The only reason I never pressed it was because I figured you wouldn't tell me much. I mean, you don't even call her mom. I think that's a pretty good sign right there that no matter what I did to try and get you to talk about her, I'd get nothing out of you. And considering how this conversation is going right now, I was right."

How did this day go from being so happy to being the absolute fucking worst?

She shook her head, sighing as her shoulders slumped. She just felt really tired now.

"I want you to talk to me, Avery. I thought we were at a point where we could talk about the hard stuff and not play this game of 'nope, I'm not going to talk about it and the more you try to get me to, the more I shutdown'. I thought we were okay."

She sighed again, wiping at her face once more, "I can't force you to talk to me about it, but I wish you would because what the fuck are we doing if we can't talk to each other about stuff like this."

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Avery Summers
 Posted: Dec 1 2016, 05:51 AM
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meth cook
butler, ga
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years old
Male
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28
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Avery wanted to protest, but he knew Delilah was right. He had made a point of not talking about Arienne. He had very carefully, albeit bluntly, circumvented any attempts she made to bring up Avery's mother or the situation surrounding her.

He could feel the tears lumping in his throat again. His eyes were burning and he knew that if he so much as blinked he'd start crying again. He stayed silent for a moment longer, trying to collect himself so he wouldn't break down the second he opened his mouth to speak.

"I've always felt like anytime I talked about her, just moving the air molecules out of my lungs I was losing pieces of her. Like she was attached to my breah somehow and once I pushed the words out, those particles were lost forever," he said quietly, his voice trembling. "Like how people say to talk about stuff when you're feeling down because it helps get rid of that stone in your chest? But that weight, that heaviness, that's all I have left of her. I don't want that to go away."

Avery cut himself off to take a breath. He placed his hand over Delilah's, squeezing it tightly. He didn't want to say anything more, but he knew he had to. He needed to just jump right in, like the cold lake water on a summer evening. Jump in and the rest would follow.

"It started small. I noticed sometimes her hands would shake. Not all the time. Just every once in a while they'd tremble a bit. I was still young, ten or so, so I didn't know it wasn't normal. Then it started to get worse. She'd drop things. All the time. She got fired from her job eventually. That's when she started seeing a doctor. They ran tests, they couldn't figure it out... They thought it was MS for a while, but it kept getting worse and it just didn't quite fit. After a couple years she couldn't walk anymore without falling. She needed help getting around. She was mostly bedridden by the time I was twelve. Then her vision started to go."

That part had been hard on Arienne. Not being able to watch her son grow up. Avery had thought it would be a good thing. He had thought he would have an easier time, not having to worry about his facial expression. If he looked unhappy or pained. Instead, it seemed the less Arienne could see the more she knew. Avery had had to learn to sound authentic, happy, cheerful. Nothing like he felt.

""The last year was the worst. Dementia. She couldn't remember me half the time."

That had been the year where fooling her became easy. The year where Avery didn't have to work so hard at lying. He could be sitting on the edge of her bed, face covered in fresh bruises, and she wouldn't have any idea. It was the part of it all that scared him the most: not knowing Delilah, or the kids. Even worse was them having to go through that like he had. Lil and the kids walking into his bedroom not knowing if he would recognize them or if they would seem like complete strangers. That was the year he wished he could cut out of his life.
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Delilah Winters
 Posted: Dec 1 2016, 06:33 AM
Quote

Owner of the Orchid Lounge & Mom
Northbrook, IL
she/her/her
26
years old
Female
Pansexual
Panromantic
monoamorous
Kimmy
24
Central
language
sex
violence

3
3
3
PM
she/her/her
awards


Delilah held Avery's hand in turn. All the times she had squeezed the hell out of it and not thought anything about it rushed to the forefront of her mind and now she felt horrible. How many times had she hurt him and he hadn't said a single thing about it? Even now she wondered if the simple gesture bothered him.

She sat quietly as she listened to Avery tell her about Arienne. The little she had known had been good and hearing how this illness slowly ate away at her was making her stomach twist into knots. All she could think about were Avery going through the same thing and she felt horrible for having been selfish and worrying about them when she should have been worrying how Avery would be if he did in fact have what Arienne had.

"I really don't know how to properly respond," she admitted as she, gently, set Storm comfortably in her lap so she could rest her other hand atop his as she rubbed it softly. He was right; she had no idea what it felt like to go through and see someone go through that. Saying sorry didn't feel right and whatever else she thought of felt just as wrong.

"I just want to say, though, that this isn't all have you left of your mom. You have the good memories still," she glanced at the babies. "And there's parts of her in Storm and Batman, as well. You'll have have her with you and talking about her won't ever change that."

She leaned against him, "It sucks you had to go through all of that alone," she softly spoke. "You won't have to go alone through it again, though. If you do have it, I'm going to be here no matter what. Even if you don't want me to be. It might be hard, but I love you and I want to be there with and for you during the hard stuff. Even if it really sucks."
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Avery Summers
 Posted: Dec 1 2016, 06:48 AM
Quote

meth cook
butler, ga
he/him/his
21
years old
Male
pansexual
panromantic
monoamorous
hades
28
est
language
sex
violence

3
3
3
odiushades#1101 (discord)
they/them/their
awards


Avery nodded, knowing Delilah was right. Maybe it had been true for a long time that there was nothing but the stone in his chest to truly make him feel close to Arienne, but that was before he had Lil and the kids. Just hearing Delilah say their son's name made him smile despite himself. His mind traipsed to black and yellow bedsheets, then to pink ones and first frolicks. He knew the name probably just seemed to Lil like a fanboy's reverie, but to Avery it was way more than that. It was a memory of their first conversation, their first kiss, their first everything.

"There's, um... there's a test they can do. A DNA test. To show if they have the gene sequence or not. Even if they have it, that doesn't necessarily mean they'll get sick, though. It just means it's... possible." It managed to sound even worse when he worded it that way, but at least there was some chance they didn't.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," he said quietly. "Storm was so unexpected, and I didn't want you to change your mind about having her. And then you were going through stuff, I couldn't find the right time... I was scared I would make you relapse or something if I told you, and before I knew it you were pregnant again with Batman. I should have told you right away."
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Delilah Winters
 Posted: Dec 1 2016, 07:19 AM
Quote

Owner of the Orchid Lounge & Mom
Northbrook, IL
she/her/her
26
years old
Female
Pansexual
Panromantic
monoamorous
Kimmy
24
Central
language
sex
violence

3
3
3
PM
she/her/her
awards


Hearing that made Delilah frown. She knew it was a good idea to get them checked out for it, just so they knew what to prepare for if there was a possibility of them having it. But... it could wait.

"We'll look into that when the time comes for it," she said as she continued to softly caress the top of Avery's hand.

"And I forgive you. I can't really blame you now that you've explained to me some things. I probably would have done the same, in all honesty." Her frown deepened. "I know I went a little crazy there and got upset and said some crazy shit and I'm sorry I did. But I want you to know I wouldn't have ever changed my mind about having Storm or Batman, for that matter."

She smiled a bit, "And I won't regret having any other future children with you, either."
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